…of Labour Day…

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A Labour Day muse!:

“As a young man:

My first job was in an orange juice factory; I couldn’t concentrate on the same old boring rind, so I got canned.
Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack; I just couldn’t hack it, so they gave me the axe.
After that, I tried working in a donut shop, but I soon got tired of the hole business.
I later manufactured calendars, but my days there were numbered.
I tried to be a tailor, but found I wasn’t suited for it. It was a sew-sew, de-pleating and de-pressing.
I took a job as an upholsterer, but I never recovered.

In my prime:

Next I tried working in a car muffler factory, but that was exhausting.
I wanted to be a barber, but I just couldn’t cut it.
Then I was a pilot, but tended to wing it, and I never had the right altitude.
I studied to become a doctor, but I didn’t have enough patients.
I became a Velcro salesman, but couldn’t stick with it.
I tried my hand at a professional career in tennis, but found I was too high strung.
I became a baker, but it wasn’t a cakewalk, and I couldn’t make enough dough. They fired me after I left a cake out in the rain.
I was a masseur for a while, but I rubbed people the wrong way.
I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining.

Later in life:

I became a personal trainer in a gym, but they said I wasn’t fit for the job.
I thought about being a historian, but I couldn’t see a future in it.
Next I was an electrician, but I found the work shocking and revolting, so they discharged me.
I tried being a teacher, but I soon lost my principal, my faculties, and my class.
I turned to farming, but wasn’t outstanding in my field.
I took a job as an elevator operator. The job had its ups and downs, and I got the shaft.
I sold origami, but the business folded.

Finally:

I took a job at UPS, but couldn’t express myself.
I tried being a fireman, but soon suffered burnout.
I became a banker, but lacked interest and maturity, and finally withdrew from the job.
I was a professional fisherman, but I couldn’t live on my net income.
I next worked in a shoe factory, but just didn’t fit in. They thought I was a loafer, and I got the boot.
I worked at Starbucks, but found it was always the same old grind.
So I’ve re-tired, and I find I’m ready for a road trip!!”

-Ernie Pundit

Cheers to a fine Labour Day Monday!

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